Side Effects
by FrenchGirlWriting
Summary: Caution : Too much use of time turners can cause dizziness, fever, nausea, headache and amnesia. If following symptoms occured, consult a time specialist, and avoid forming any passionate feelings and strong wishes in the depth of your heart or the spirit inhabiting the time-turner may very well grant them.
1. First Symptoms

**CHAPTER I**

 **Firsts Symptoms**

Hermione covered her sweaty forehead with a shaking hand as she flipped the yellow pages of the book before her. Her eyes moved quickly, following every sentences, every inked word as they printed themselves in her mind.

 _Of Timer-Tuners and their Side-Effects_

 _The excessive use of time-turners can cause severe damage on the wizard's health. Various symptoms can occur such as diziness, nausea, splitting sensation, headache, fever and amnesia. If one or several of theses symptoms occur on a period of several consecutive days following the use of a time turner, we advise the wizard to visit a time specialist promptly._

 _If this advice is not followed diligently, it is possible for the wizard to hear the constant noise of a clock following him. Time-turner are powerful artefacts, made of light magic and they ask for a payment in time, as they gave time. Old sand-spirit are thought to live inside every time-turner, fulfilling whishes and giving time._

 _If the wizard using the time-turner is plagued with an obscur heart full of bad and selfish desires, the spirit will play with him and finish by making him lose himself in time and space. But if, one's heart is pure and righteous, the spirit will take the wizard in a time where all his heart's desires will be fulfilled. It is said that the righteous and pure-hearted will hear the spirit's voice in theses last moments, asking them to make a wish._

 _To prevent it, we would recommend to avoid any stress or any activities causing strong heart activities. A calm heart doesn't attract theses spirits who are awaken by passion, anger and desire._

Hermione closed the book angrily, the noise seeming louder in the quiet library of Hogwarts. Madame Pince raised her head and looked at the student with a stern look as the young lady clasped her head in both of her hands. The faraway sound of the old library's clock appeared to follow her, echoing in her mind as she took deep and loud breaths.

She wasn't the type to listen to her body's whims. And when she started to have headaches and nausea in the summer, she decided not to pay attention to it. But as the fourth year started, it'd gotten worse, and worsened again the following days. After several months of self-diagnose, she was able to link her illness to the strange artefact which had permitted her to follow her lenghty course the year before, to save Buck and to help prisonner Sirius Black to escape. She had already returned the time-turner, but she still felt its weight around her neck, like an invisible grip, and a constant shadow of the golden object.

She forced herself to take deep breaths again. The spirit was after passionate hearts...And seemed to want to help them in a strange and twisted way which may amuse him. Sand-spirit were known to be vicious and wicked, but strangely just and generous with honest travellers of the desert. Still, playing their game, even for all the riches and promises they offered was not advised.

Not being passionate, not desiring anything...It was impossible. Even the coldest person desired. And Hermione was the complete opposite of impassive, the antithesis of a cold and detached person. Every fiber of her being burned with fire, passion, and an eternal desire for righteousness. She wanted very little for herself, but it seemed her mission to want big things for the world. Big things such as justice, righteousness, freedom, and more kindness for every people whoses hearts were wounded by the viciousness which seemed to be inherent in this society.

Asking for her heart to be void of theses desires was like asking her not to breath, not to live. Throwing her head backward, she worked on her breathing and tried to still her raging mind. She didn't have the choice, whatever game this spirit wanted to play with her, it would be very unwise to follow. But even as she tried to convince herself with theses words, as much as she tried to pretend still being in the control of this situation, the words seemed hollow. And the feeling of something following her persisted, like a strange and smiling presence who was delighted by her and who whispersed again and again...

 _Tick-Tock._

 _§§§_

"Miss Granger, stay.''

The voice of the Professor Snape was as cold and void of emotions as was this day of december 1994. Outside, the colour white had swallowed the last shades of autumn, covering them with its soft and merciless coat of frost. The donjons were colder than ever and the students had almost all ran out after this endless lesson of potions.

The brown-haired witch, silently reassured Harry and Ron before putting back her bag on the wooden tables. The trio were more and more suspicious of Snape this year, for the wizard seemed to have forgotten nothing of his encounter with his old ennemies in the Shrieking Shack. Since the escape of Sirius Black his heinous feelings for the group of young students seemed to have grown into a flaming hatred, flueled by the wood of ressentment.

The Professor advanced toward her with a slow pace before throwing on a paper on the desk. It was a copy of The Gazette with its title printed in loud and big characters "CRIMINAL SIRIUS BLACK SUCCESSFUL ESCAPE". Hermione gave it a quick look before raising her proud and unitimidated gaze toward the adult. Her silence was complete, and seemed to bring a deep annoyance in the dark eyes of the potion master.

"I suppose you know nothing of this...affair, Miss Granger. It would after all be very surprising for a young lady such as yourself to be affiliated with one of the most known criminal of the wizarding world."

Hermione let a small smile cover her lips as her right hand formed a fist. Calm, she would be calm. She recognized here the test of the spirit in bringing a subject before which she would have all the difficulties in the world to stay calm. Sirius Black...Her heart lost its regular beat at the simple mention of his name. This wizard crystallized every bit of injustice the life and society could throw toward a man. He was in every part ruined : his beauty was hollow, his passion now echoed tightly with instability, his anger was never answered and most importantly his wounds were never healed as the knife of injustice hit him again and again.

And if there was something Hermione couldn't bear, it was injustice.

"Yes,"drawled the Professor and his slow and almost menacing voice, "a laughing matter really. Ridiculous and impossible to believe really, unless one has a proof in an unalterable thing...In his memory for example ?"

Her heart started to beat harder and quicker as her fist became even more tight. The calming breath that she took was almost stuttering as she gritted. "Almost as ridiculous as a man of your stature being ruthless enough to desire to do evil to such a battered man..."

"Evil ? Evil, did you say Miss Granger ? In this situation evil would be the appropriate word to describe a criminal, a murderer but you seem to have a peculiar use for it. Or is it that Gryffondors with their superior moral senses seem to distinguish good and evil in a way that the common folk can't ?"

He was mocking her. Her nails digged into the tender skin of her palms. He was mocking her and mocking _him._ Him, the criminal, the one no one believed, no one had compassion for, and her, the gryffondor, the student, the self-righteous _know-it-all_. But she did know. She knew that Sirius Black was innocent, and she knew what injustice looked like.

 _Tick-tock..._

"I am the owner of my mind, Professor. Just as much as your mind and memory belongs to you and only you, mine is mine alone. My voice is also my own and if I want to vocalize my thoughts, I will."

"20 points for insolence, Miss Granger."

This man...This man was a bitter and unfair man. For years he was cruel to them, for years he insulted Harry, sweet, sad Harry. And now he...The hollow silver eyes of Sirius Black appeared in the back of her mind, burning and making her heart ache at the simple memory of the sadness inhabiting them.

The smile of the Professor was burning her as strongly as the memory of theses eyes.

How she wished she could wip this smile of his face...

 _Tick-tock..._

How she wished she could have seen theses eyes, theses beautiful silver eyes before they were haunted by the shadows of desperation and madness...

 _Tick-tock..._

How she wished she could have been here to prevent that. How she wanted to know what kind of darkness infiltrated the heart of men like Severus Snape to make it so cold and hard...

Her heart seemed to burn with want, filling itself with more wishes as her headache came back with vengeance. She clasped her hand around her head and shook it, her eyes opening wide when her thoughts became clear in her buzzing mind.

No...

 _Tick-Tock..._

And in the back of her mind, a delighted laugh made itself heard.

 _Wishes granted..._

 _To be continued..._


	2. 2nd Symtom : Curiosty

**CHAPTER II**

 **First Symptom**

 **Curiosity**

"Missy, missy !"

Hermione opened her eyes slowly. The winter's sky had already turned dark, and the night's shadow fully penetrated the room whoses only lights were the burning stars and twisted black candles on the sides. The witch tried to speak, but her throat was dry, and her mouth felt like sand-paper. She opened her mouth once, twice before turning her head and facing the strange creature on her side. It was a house-elf, with their characteristic larges ears and teary eyes, and the poor thing looked absolutely panicked.

"Hello..." she tried to say.

The creature clasped a hand on her mouth and started to talk quickly. "You no speak, you must not speak ! If you do, she will hear you...the Mistress mustn't hear you yet. Evy was told to go to the Mistress as soon as the Missy woke up but Evy wanted to tell the Missy. We found the Missy in the snow, covered in golden sand, and sand magic was upon her. The Mistress is interested, very interested, she likes to collect things, magic things. You should run, you should run !"

The words shoved themselves in her fuzzy mind as she tried to process them. Running away...The Mistress...Magic things...But she wasn't a magic trinket and...

"Who is the Mistress ?"

"Mistress is Mistress Black, Mistress Madam Walburga Black, Missy !" said the elf in a hushed tone.

Walburga Black...The name was strangely familiar but everything in her mind was a mess, thoughts came on thoughts and the strenght of her heartbeat was enough to break her rib cage. Her mind, her entire mind seemed to be on fire. There was a fire in her head, and the name Black echoed strangely, flueling the flames. Black...Black...Silver eyes and a haunted look, her heart ached before theses silver eyes.

 _How I wish, sussered a voice in her mind, How I wish I could have seen theses eyes, theses beautiful silver eyes before they were haunted by the shadows of desperation and madness..._

She clasped her head between her hands trying to still her breathing and to concentrate. This voice was her own, like a distant memory repeating itself in her head.

Black...Silver eyes...Wish...

 _Caution : Excessive use of time-turners..._

Time-turners ! Her eyes opened almost violently as she let a frantic gaze observe her surroundings. Where was she ? _When_ was she ? The spirit...It was the spirit who did this !

"What is today's date ?" she asked slowly.

" 28th December 1974, Missy."

 _How I wish I could have been here to prevent that..._

Her eyes met the teary ones of the elf as she asked carefully. "Where am I ?"

"At Grimmaud Place, Missy. On the propriety of the Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."

Black...

Memories of the name filled her mind, stricking it like the most violent flow of water. _Dark Wizards, the lot of them...Death Eaters...Criminals...Purebloods...Manics...Sirius Black, a criminal... an innocent...Godfather...Lupin is a werewolf..._

 _Hermione, run away !_

Run.

"Missy, you have to go before she finds you !" said once more the house elf, looking at her with a panicked gaze and pulling her by the hand for her to come out of her bed.

Her feet touched the cold and dark marble floor of Grimmaud Place, following with a stumbling pace the quick steps of the little creature before her. She looked at her surroundings with a misty gaze. In truth she couldn't be sure that the night had really fallen on the property for the nightfall always seemed to cover Grimmaud Place.

Everything was as dark as a night sky, from the tapistries on the wall to the hard gazes of the living portraits, following each of her movement with their characteristic noble sneer.

"Evy ! Where are you taking the creature ?"

The voice who had rose above the darkness and hushed tones of the corridors was as cold as a winter's night, as harsh, and just as frightening. It was a woman's voice, but there was no hint of softness or sensibility behind her elegant and carefully prononced words. There was no warmth in her perfect british accent and not even one line of her straight figure had this characteristic sweet sag of motherhood.

Madam Black was perfectly at her place in the ruthless frost of the season, and her eyes burned of the star's cold fire illuminating her grave face with a frightening glow. She made Hermione more conscious than ever of her unseemly hair and young age, and all of her faults were left bare in front the woman's searching gaze.

The elf let go Hermione's hand as if it was burning her, and lunged herself toward the floor, hitting her head against the hard stone in the process.

"Evy is sorry, Mistress ! Evy can say nothing to defend herself, Evy isn't worthy of serving the Most Noble House of Black !"

The woman did not even let a bored gaze fell on the elf, and her contempt fully expressed itself in her vague hand gesture and cruel tone. "Pitiful creature, go punish yourself, I will come see you later tonight."

The elf squeaked and disappeared in a crack, leaving Hermione alone to the heavy presence of the woman. The icy gaze of the woman fell on her meeting her eyes and the young witch felt her heart still in her chest. She fisted her hands to prevent them to shake and fighted against herself not to lower her eyes. What a terrible, terrible woman...

Walburga clasped her hands behind her back and started to circle her, appearing like a shark, ready to lunge at the first weakness.

"Where do you come from, creature ?"

Creature ?

Hermione cleared her throat before saying as steadily as she could "I am not a creature, I am a witch."

The woman stopped circling her as she rose an elegant eyebrow, dark amusement gracing her stern features. "Your race is known for its lies, sand spirit, and I thought you would be more convincing at it." She took a small glass bottle from her heavy black belt and raised it to the light of the burning candles on the wall. Basking in the red glow of the fire, the sand filling the flask was glowing like golden powder. "This was found on you and all around you as you appeared before our propriety. A magically hidden propriety which shields are so powerful that no uninvited wizard was ever found crossing it in 200 years. As if it wasn't enough this sand wasn't conjured and doesn't disappear and it covered the entire ground under you, or should I say the frosted and snow-white ground under you. I could also mention the mark that your bear on your heart, a strange tattoo, isn't it, _Jinn_."

A mark ? Sand ?

Hemione lowered her eyes quickly and pulled the collar of her dress, seeing a strange and intricate symbol in a gold embedded in her skin. The mark of the spirit...The spirit of the time-turner...She closed her eyes and could still feel his presence following her, always following her like a second shadow, she could also feel his smile. He wouldn't leave her, he attached himself to her heart, her perpetually burning heart and he put his mark on it, attaching himself to her. This woman didn't understand, she thought _she_ was the spirit, and there was no way Hermione could explain to her the ambiguity and complexity of her situation.

"If I am what you say...Then you should know it would be best to let me go back to where I come from." the young witch said carefully.

The Black Mistress put back the flask inside her belt and an almost mocking smile came to adorn her full lips. "If you are what I say...Then I would be foolish to let a rarity like you escape."

 _We found the Missy in the snow, covered in golden sand, and sand magic was upon her. The Mistress is interested, very interested, she likes to collect things, magic things. You should run, you should run !_

Collectors...Black were collectors. She wasn't going to let her escape.

"Your race isn't ever found in English soil" continued circling her again, "you never leave the desert and the only wizarding family known to have ever had contact with the _Jinn_ are the Noble Shafiq family, but they are withdrawn and very wary of outsiders. In England we only know rumors about you...Desert-dwellers, tricksters, it is said you can grant the maddest wish or deliver the worst curses on entire generations. Out of time, out of space, and invisible, you have to attach yourself to material things to walk upon earth freely."

So if the spirit was still here, it was because he left the time-turner and attached himself to her body in exchange so that he could express his power fully. But why had he chose to go the one house where they would both be imprisonned ? She could feel his hands on her shoulders and his smile behind her. Trickster, intelligent and vicious spirit...But he wouldn't hurt her, for her heart in all its depths pleased him and her desires and dreams seemed very entertaining for him.

"I am not" slowly said Hermione, almost silently.

"Liar" answered Walburga in her very calm tone, detaching every syllabes of the word."But you are known to be secretive creatures. Ageless, no one know how you come to life or how you fade...You know depths of magic that are unknown to any wizards...Purely magical beings. Pure magic." she finished with a strange light illuminating her eyes.

She clapped her hands together before saying "Kreattur go take our new guest to her bedroom."

§§§

Her bedroom was everything she thought it would be.

It had no colours except a very dark blue and some touch of silver, just like the entire propriety of Grimmaud Place. When the sun rose he was partially blocked by the black and heavy curtains and seemed paler. She found herself craving it and always woke up at its first light getting as close as she could and basking in it.

It had already been three days, but she still didn't have the permission to go out, as she was an untrustful spirit and could try to escape. Sometimes she heard strange noises, noises of beatings and curses, of demented laughs and shoutings. A particular voice always shouted, the voice of a young man, a powerful and beautiful voice, cursing Grimmaud Place and its inhabitants.

The voice of the spirit didn't make itself heard. And he was simply silent in the back of her mind but always present and she could tell that he was burning with anticipation. On the 2nd day of January, she heard the voice of the spirit.

 _What you desire is here...What your heart desire, behind this wall, is what your heart desire..._

It was a strange, enchanting voice, a very convincing voice that seemed to reasonnate in every single limbs of her body, and who cleared all thoughts to become the unique sound to echo in her mind. When the sentence repeated itself, again and again, she also understood that it was a very persistent voice.

As the hours passed, Hermione's eyes were more and more attracted by the dark wall of her bedroom, covered in tapestries. The noise of beatings and curses made themselves heard again, and they seemed to come from behind it. When daylights faded, the silence came and there was no more shouting, curses or mutted hits. But the spirit voice never ceased.

 _What you desire is here...What your heart desire, behind this wall, is what your heart desire...Approach...Approach..._

Curiosity inflitrated in her body, like some kind of dangerous poison, contaminating every cell until it touched her oh so vulnerable heart. She approached, telling herself that she wasn't obeying the voice, simply following the desires of her heart.

She pressed her ear against the wall and her hands and concentrate. She could hear a labored breaths. And as she pressed herself against the soft tapestry's tissue, she felt her hands sink into it, deeper and deeper. Opening her eyes she looked at them and tried to take them of but was greeted with the most peculiar sight.

Both of her hands were the prisonners of two circles of sands on the wall, and before she could open her mouth to protest, all her body passed the wall, passing through it as though it was a curtain. A scream escaped her as she fell and crashed to the ground, sand following her and raining on her.

She raised herself and tried to stand, looking around her, breathing loudly as she understood the situation.

 _Desert-dwellers...Out of space, out of time..._

The spirit had just make her pass through a wall. She passed grasped a handful of her bushy hair. The room was bare of any decoration, any comfort, simply covered with hard stones from the ceiling to the floor. But soon her gaze stopped on the figure on the ground. The figure of a young man.

 _What your heart desires...is here._

Hermione approached slowly, the noise of her bare feet reasonnating in the silent room. The man was sat on the floor, his back against the wall and his head covered in pitch black hair was hanging from a tired neck. She knelt in front him and put her hand on his shoulder, but as soon as she had done it, his big hand surrounded her own neck, choking her as the most beautiful eyes looked into hers.

Silver eyes...Intense and familiar, but so foreign. No sadness lived there, no desperation, only anger.

 _What your heart desires...is him._


	3. 3rd Symptom : Protectiveness

**Chapter III**

 **3rd Symptom : Protectiveness**

 _aka having the quality or the fonction to protect/tending to protect_

Just as her vision started to get blurry, the hands constricting her throat released their hold.

"Damn ! Hey, I am sorry, are you okay, I just thought you were a new auntie coming to have her kick..."

The young witch pressed her hands around her throat, coughing a few times, her breath labored as her sight cleared up. One of the hand that had been choking her just moments earlier was now on her back, giving it little pats as the young man said softly "That's it doll, breath real deep."

Hermione raised her arms in front of her, escaping from the hands and retreating toward the wall behind her. As she moved the gold shackles emitted a bell-like sound attracting Sirius's attention on them. A new light passed through his silver eyes, and what looked like a sad smile curved his full lips. "I know that it looks a little bit strange to say that after what I did but...you really don't have to be afraid of me." He raised his hands to show the room in a vague gesture. "See ? We're both prisoners, here."

The witch looked at him again, her eyes meeting his. What strange eyes this boy had...It wasn't the eyes she remembered. They were similar but all so different. Just like their owner. There was so much light, so much life inside of them, they were buzzing and vibrating just like a stormy sky. Before she even knew it, she had let her arms down, just like her defenses. How easily he went through them she couldn't explain...But it was so easy to believe theses eyes.

Even on his wounded lips, his boyish smile looked charming and she had to bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself to smile too. He passed a hand on his long and silky black strands and let his head meet the wall behind him, a silent laugh shaking his shoulders. "Seriously what the bloody hell ? You're a chick who just passed through a wall to meet me...I don't know if I was hit too hard on the head or if it is just all the Crucio making me hallucinating. So doll, what's next ? Are you going to take all of your clothes and dance a little bit ?"

Hermione looked at him with wide shocked eyes as indignation was painting itself on her face. "What ? No ! Never !"

The wizard opened one eye, raising an eyebrow "Then you may be more real than I thought."

"I am real !" insisted Hermione with the same indignation.

The wizard hummed, his eyes now fixed on her "Sure you are...So tell me, how did you _really_ passed through the wall to come to me ?"

"I can do a lot of things !" retorted Hermione with the same fire in her voice.

"Like take off your shackles and get us both out of here ?"

"That...!" her voice lost some of her heat, as she raised her chin and cleared her throat. "I surely could do it but...Let's say that I haven't grasp yet the mechanics of the...the...travel through walls thing and the kind of ways through spaces and material things and..."

"So you can't." he said raising both of his eyebrows.

She pinched her lips and didn't answered. He pinched his lips too, but to suppress a smile and by this movement she lost her anger, strangely distracted by a dimple which appeared on his left cheek. As he looked at her, an amused glimmer danced in his eyes, and he continued "Well, real or not, you're here, right ? And since you can't help me and that you are...invading my very luxurious cell, you have at least the duty to entertain me."

Hermione fighted against another smile. Some things didn't change...Even in the worst situations, Sirius had always kept his sense of humour. "So young lady, tell me, do you come here, and I should add in this spectacular way, often ?"

A smile finally broke on her lips and for a moment she forgot where she was, where they both were, and what situation they were in. "No...I do not have in my habits to be...spectacular."

Sirius looked at her from under his lashes "Permit me to doubt it."

A charmer...She wasn't surprised, she thought, while looking at him. Even if he didn't speak, his face was a charm in itself. It wasn't even natural to be this handsome at his age. He was only fourteen just like her, but it was like he brought each age, even the most ungrateful, to its perfection. Even with his face bloodied and swollen under the hits he was still too handsome, painfully so. And while looking at his wounded figure, there was something in her, just like before, something she couldn't explain, that was deeply sad.

"Who did this to you ?" she asked softly, so softly that it was almost whispered.

As he looked at her, the amused glint disappeared and he ruffled his hair with a grimace, wipping his lips with his fist before answering. "Let's say that I have been too spectacular too. The old dragon just hate it when I am too...myself in front of her special guests. And I just hate them too much to be anything else."

Walburga Black's special guests ? She furrowed her brows before looking at Sirius's sitted form. She took in the heavy and laced black boots, the black jeans and t-shirt, and didn't know if she wanted to laugh or just cry. Muggle clothes at a pureblood dinner...This man was either uncommnly brave, or just devoid of any survival instinct.

"You shouldn't be hurt for this. This is pure madness..." she said in an angry tone while pulling her curls backwards.

"While I appreciate your righteous anger, doll. There is nothing that can be done, this whole family is bat shit crazy." He let his head hit the wall a second time and closed his eyes. "Whatever, one day I'll just go and never come back here."

"I would help you if I could. I wish that you weren't hurt, that you wouldn't suffer from wounds like this ever again. I wish for it from the bottom of my heart."she softly said.

 _Wishes granted..._

Hermione almost jumped when she heard the familiar and pleased voice inside of her head. Before she could curse her mouth, the wounds on the Sirius's body started to heal, the blood entering inside them again, leaving a fine layer of sand where they were. The boy made an unbelieving sound, patting his arms quite violently, making the sand fall onto the ground. He looked at his arms legs and fists from all every angle before looking at her his eyes full of disbelief.

"How did you do that ?"

Hermione shaked her head, her mouth still opened under the surprise. This wasn't good, the more wishes the spirit granted, the more powerful he would become. If she continued, she could very well finish stuck with him for the rest of her life.

Sirius left his place and almost ran to cross the room before falling unto his knees before her, grasping her shoulders in a tight grip. "Listen, I don't know what you have done, or how you have done...but every magical action in this room is signaled to the head of house by the ring. You have to go. Go ! Right Now !"

Hermione shaked frantically her head. "But I don't know how, or...I...just don't..."

 _Wish it..._

No, she couldn't. Steps were heard in the corridor and Sirius almost shaked her. "You don't have a choice ! I don't know what you are, but it is evident that you are not supposed to be here. Go ! Go !"

"I can't !"

"You don't have the choice !" he screamed. Voices started to make themselves hear and Sirius tightened his hold on her shoulders, closing his eyes. "Please..."

The knob of the door turned, and the door creaked as she opened.

 _Wish it !_

She closed her eyes and tried to find the desire in her mind. The desire for a safe place, for a warm bed, somewhere with out of this Manor. And all became black.

§§§

When she opened her eyes. Hermione's vision was invaded by red. A sea of red spreading above her like satin. A familiar red.

She raised from her layed down position, her gold and red covers slidding from her arms and falling on the bed. She closed her eyes and gripped her messy curls into tight fists. A dream ? As she crossed her arms above her kness, a bell-like noise startled her, bringing her eyes on the gold shackles-like bracelets on her wrists.

Shackles ?

She kicked her covers, and looked at her ankles founding the same jewelry, shining with a glow that only magic could give. It wasn't a dream...

She opened the curtains of her bed so violently that she almost thought they would tear, and she ran in her dormity taking off her pajamas and putting her unfirm while running and binding her hair under the incredulous exclamations of her comrades.

"She was there ? Didn't she like disappeared for almost two days ?"

She didn't even took the time to turn to answer Lavender Brown as she passed her bag on her shoulders, putting her shoes on her feet as quickly as she could.

Parvati Patil snorted, rolling her eyes to the others. "I bet she was just in the library the whole time."

§§§

"Professor ! Professor ! Please Professor McGonagall !"

The old woman turned, her stern gaze falling, reprobation on the edge of her lips. Chock covered her grave features when they took in the student calling for her. She caught Hermione by her arm and led her to an empty classroom on their left, closing the door behind them.

"Miss Granger, I ask for an explanation ! You disappeared for almost three days without any signs and...What are you doing, Miss Granger ?!"

As the older witch talked Hermione had taken off the buttons of her shirt and opened it on the golden mark covering her chest. All admonitions died on the mouth of the woman as she straightened her glasses looking closely at the engraved letters.

She raised an incredulous gaze towards her student before taking a few steps back, supporting herself with the desk behind her. "Is that...?"

"A consequence of the time-turner, you accepted to lend me last year. And...a spirit mark apparently."

McGonagall shaked her head, pressing a hand on her forehead. "This shouldn't have happened...A _Jinn_ wouldn't be interested in a simple..." She interrupted herself, looking at Hermione, before asking in a hard tone. "Did you or did you not use the time turner to change the course of time according to your personal wishes, Miss Granger ?"

"No, I didn'..." her protest fell flat as the events jostled in her head. Buckbeack...The dementors...Sirius...She remembered the indignation she had felt in front of theses injustices, and how righteous she had felt to change the course of time, but not for her, to save. "I...I just wanted to do the right thing..." her voice broke in the realisation.

"Miss Granger ! I would have thought you to be the exact person taking in considerations the cautions written about theses kind of artefacts !"

"I red them ! But on the moment, I...I just wanted to do the right thing..."

McGonagall harsh gaze softened and she sighed, shaking her head before saying softly "And I shouldn't have expected anything else from a Gryffindor like yourself." Her expression became serious once again as she asked "Listen to me very closely, Miss Granger. If you hear a voice inside of your head, do not answer it. And guard you heart against any suggestions inflamming your heart. You have come back this time. But you may very well not, the next one."

"Professor...What would happened if I...just couldn't do it ?"

The old woman sighted and closed her eyes for a moment before fixing them again on the young Gryffindor. "Jinns are...very peculiar creatures. Like every creatures on this earth they have free will. They are often considered dark creatures because most wizard do not understand them and that it is obvious that they are dangerous spirit and prone to some kind of wickedness. One of theses is currently living inside of you. The more power your heart give him the more power he will have. They have the capacity to expose the true desire inhabiting the heart of each being, fueling their passion and driving them to complete elation or twisting them to madness according to their own wishes. I would advise you not to give him the power of making this choice."

§§§

For months Hermione followed her professor's advice religiously and did not think of past injustice, of her desire to correct things, or of Sirius Black. The events of the year helped her, for she had relatively little time to think between worrying to death for Harry in his death contest, escaping Victor Krum rabid fans and her study course.

The days, the weeks and the months passed and she pushed any thoughts of Sirius Black or of her little travel outside of her mind. But he still came in and she often caught the image of his handsome and wounded face and boyish smile following her in her dreams. She managed to do it. Even when she saw Sirius again in her fifth year. Even before the fallen beauty of Grimmaud Place, even seeing the haunted look on the face of the last male Black as he paced like a lion in its cage inside the manor. She avoided him, avoided his grey eyes like a plague and closed her eyes to escape the sound of his voice as he called her of this very same name " _doll_ ".

The spirit suggested, playfully, fiercely, insistingly, but she ignored it. And he then became quiet, as if he fell asleep, and she liked to believe this, but she knew deep down that he was just waiting for his time.

Even with her heart burning everytime he was closed, she didn't wish for anything. Nothing at all, until he fell. Until she heard Harry's screams as he saw his godfather falling backwards with closed eyes. Until she saw something break in Professor Lupin's eyes as he prevented Harry to fall from his pain. Until she heard Bellatrix Black's laugh.

At the begining her heart was too grieven to desire. Too sad to wish as she followed from her eyes Harry and Remus become shadow-like.

"Speak to me...Harry...Please ! I would do anything..."

She had aways found something in Harry that made her want to smile. His eyes looked like they had seen to much, but they were still shimmering with an innocence that a lot of boys his age were devoid off. He couldn't use a brush without breaking it, still didn't know the proper way to wear a tie and was the easiest person to make happy on this earth. But at this moment, as he turned his face and looked at her everything about him made her want to cry.

"What do you want me to say, 'Mione ? There is nothing left to say." he said, and each of his words were labored as if they cutted his mouth. "Sometimes, wishes just can't come true, and mine...just never seem to."

He turned her back to her, and she knew why, she knew how much he hated when other people saw him cry. She closed her eyes to prevent her own tears.

 _But yours do come true..._

Him, again. She tried to shake her head to escape from the voice, but she rang again, with more strenght.

 _Don't you want your friend's wishes to come true ? You could do it, you know you could._

She had to ignore him. But his voice rang inside of her heart and she knew, she knew that with this power she could erase it. She could just go back and do it again, make them all happy. She could do it. This would be the right thing to do right ? After all she never regretted saving Buck, nor did she regret having wished for this too beautiful boy's wounds to heal in his dark room...

After all if things went bad, and there was always a possibility for them to go bad, she would be the only one concerned, right ? She opened her eyes, and she knew her decision was taken as she took the crushed figure of her friend in her arms.

"Harry...What if I told you that I could make your wishes come true for you ?"

Even if her heart burned from it...She would protect him. Grey eyes passed inside her mind and she tightened her hold on him. She would protect them all.

"What are you saying, 'Mione ?" slurred his tired voice.

 _What do you wish for ?_

She wished to change the events. She wished to prevent death to steal this happiness. To go to this time where building happiness was still possible. She wished for...

 _"So young lady, tell me, do you come here, and I should add in this spectacular way, often ?"_

The boyish smile and stormy eyes came back inside of her mind. And all became dark and gold, just like whirlwind of sand under the night sky.

§§§

When she opened her eyes, she found a familiar sea of red and gold invading her vision. But there was something different. The smell around her wasn't the one she was accustomed to. But it was something strong and very pleasing. As she spread her hands out to stretch, her fist hit against something hard and she noticed for the first time the long form beside her crowned by a tuft of silky black hair.

"What the bloody hell, not right now, Jamie..."slurred the mass of hair while turning.

Hermione covered her mouth not to scream and retreated quickly toward the end of the bed, kicking the figure in her hurry. The mass protested and rose while complaining and as she sat, her face was uncovered. Sleepy grey eyes opened, widening as they found hers.

"You...!"

 _To be continued..._


	4. 4th Symtom : Shock

**Chapter IV**

 **4th Symptom : Shock**

Hermione's wide eyes were fixed on the masculine figure in front of her. The boy she had left in a dark room had grown up. The hands covering her mouths fell down on her lap and her lips curved in a soft smile. She never would have thought missing theses grey eyes so much. Nor would she have thought that it was possible for this boy to grow more handsome than he already was when she had left him.

The black-haired male was looking at her with furrowed brows, the surprise disappearing little by little from his eyes as they passed from his sand covered covers to the girl curled up at the end of his bed. He scratched the back of his head, messing the silky locks, before leaning on the pillows behind him. He wiped a smile from his face with his fist in an all too familiar gesture, but his hands were bigger than she remembered and his smile all too devastating.

"Still real ?" he asked with an amused tone, his eyes passing over the bare legs coming from her pajama's shorts.

She felt her face heat and tried to cover her skin with her oversized sweater, passing her hand in her tangled curls. She cleared her throat before answering "Of course, I am..." She pinched her lips, cursing her voice for shaking under this gaze. Even his eyes had changed, and they were nothing like she remembered : in all of their familiarity, they weren't filled with anger, rebellion or grief, but full of an intensity she had never seen, daring, provoking and dreadfully charming all at the same time.

And he knew full well the power he exerced only by one look. He stayed silent for a while, just looking at her as she searched any other place to put her gaze on. And then, before she could react in any way, he caught her by her arm and pulled her in a tight embrace.

For a long moment she didn't dare to move furrowing her brows and berating her heart for throbbing in this strange way. The soft black hair were caressing her cheek, tickling her, and the heat coming from him was almost burning her. Any protest died in her mouth as the arms tightened around her, pulling her closer to the firm body. She fet her eyes close as she smelled this particular smell, this smell which hadn't changed. This fresh and musky smell, like cold leather, whisky and the buzzing air's scent after a storm.

He spoke in a low voice in her ears and she felt herself shivers at the sound of his voice "You came back...I knew you would."

The arms tightened around her again, and she felt his nose ran on her curly head. But in the same moment the sound of a crash made itself heard followed closely by a male voice cursing.

"What the bloody hell ! Moony why didn't you wake me up ?! Pads you dog wake the hell up, if we're late again the old McGonagall is going to impale me by my antlers on her wall !"

In all but an instant the embrace ceased and Hermione was surprised how cold the air seemed against her skin. Sirius gripped her by her shoulders before saying with a laugh in his voice. "You always seem to choose the worst moments and the most spectacular entrances though...Listen I need to get out right now or the idiot you just heard will barge in there. Just...Try to be quiet, I'll come back and see you real fast, 'kay ?"

As soon as he said those words, he was out of his bed closing meticulously the curtains before saying in an amused tone "What ? Still can't put your pants on without me, Jamie ?"

Laughs and sounds of mock hits attracted her attention and the young witch approached the heavy curtains on her knees, looking the scene through the slim opening. Sirius had his head in a head-lock, and a young man was holding it messing his hair and laughing. The laughing face of the other student hit her in the gut. She knew this face. She grew up looking at this face transform into a man's one. But at the same time, it was so different. The face she knew was more delicate, more childish, the smile less cocky, less charming, the hair less dark, the eyes green and not brown, not happy, never happy.

She bit on her lower lip to prevent it to shake as the scene enfolded itself before her. Sirius managed to free himself, and shook his head, in a dog-like manner, passing a hand in his ink-coloured hair with a boyish smile, before pushing James and running to the bathroom. Another man was there shaking his head disapprovingly but with a peaceful curve on his lips, all the while straightening his tie. Professor Lupin ? He had the same warm brandy eyes, the same sandy blond hair, but he was so different too. For once, he didn't look like he was bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders, he didn't look crushed, but had this confident and joyous light, illuminating his caracteristic softness and handsome features.

Just like that she found herself crying. Just because she understood that at sixteen, she had already forgotten what happy youth looked like.

§§§

The curtains opened again, and she hadn't even realized falling asleep. She rose with a jump, her hand raising to protect her from the light as a figure invaded her sight. She saw grey eyes before anything else, and a smile came to adorn her lips like the most natural thing in the world.

Sirius had changed himself, and was in his uniform. His tie was losely put around his neck, he didn't even take the time to button his shirt correctly and his hair fell in an elegant mess on his eyes, obviously finger-combed. Even like this, it was as if he was more blinding than the daylight.

The right corner of his lips rose, and he took her hand making her rose from the bed. She furrowed her brows and opened her mouth to ask something but the words were like stuck in her throat as he met her eyes with his silver ones, almost whispering an inviting "Come with me."

Before she could think of answering she was already following him in the empty corridors. They walked fast, the noise of his shoes on the ground covering her barefeet's one. He took a lot of shortcuts, eacth time assuring himself that nobody was present before beckoning her with a sign of hand and a smile.

Before long they went down some kind of straight and dark stairs, and as the light appeared she was blinded by a mass of small creatures bearing plates of food and activating themselves around the numerous ovens and tables. A smile curved her lips before the familiar sight : The kitchens.

"Mister Black Sir" said one of the small creature, running toward the couple of wizards. He rose his long nose in a tentative to look at them in the eyes "Have you missed breakfast again, Sir ?"

"Yes, Ticky. And I bring to you another mouth to feed. This is..." he stopped himself and looked at her with a raised eyebrow, as if understanding for the first time that he had never asked for her name.

She straightened her sweater, and held out her hand to the creature with warmth in her eyes "Hermione, pleased to meet you."

The house-elf was flattered enough to blush. And simply took her hand to make her sit on a comfortable chair and giving Sirius one. They were in front of a wooden table, covered with basket full of fruits and vegetables and soon in front of them were also new plates coming by dozens. She couldn't even decide with what to start but one look at Sirius showed her the direction. He was promptly stuffing his face with a mix of french toast and pancakes, finally looking at her with his cheeks full and a raised eyebrow, as if to ask her what she was waiting for.

Boys...The sight made her laugh and she stard to cut herself a big piece of french toast, stuffing it in her mouth and eating with enthousiasm.

After a while, she noticed how his gaze hadn't wavered from her all the time she ate. And imperceptively, she felt the air change and the mood fall from its first goofiness. When she raised her head, her cheeks still full, there was an intensity in his eyes that wasn't there in the first place.

"You grew up pretty."

The sentence was so unexpected that she almost chocked on her food. She coughed a few times, beating her chest with her fist, before nodding in the air, swallowing everything she had in her mouth and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Thank you. You...You did not grew badly yourself."

He didn't answer this, still looking at her with theses strange eyes of his. He continued, adding "I was afraid you would not be here when I came back. I don't think I ever ran so fast in all my life."

Her eyes looked at his badly buttoned shirt before falling on his shoes, noticing how the laces weren't even done.

"I want you to stay this time." she heard him say and as she raised her head again it was impossible to tell if it was a plea, a request or an order.

He leaned against the backrest of his chair and looked at her, the corner of his mouth raising in a secretive smile. "I never forgot about you. The girl in the attic. The one who found me, healed me. I don't think I have ever seen that kind of magic before."

She didn't answer, her mouth opening in the air as he continued. He slowly leaned toward her, until their faces were close enough for her to feel his breath. And then he continued in an almost hushed tone "But I do not really care about that kind of stuff. What I want to ask is...have you come back for me ?"

The broken eyes of Harry and his screams came back to her mind and she tightened her fist around her glass of pumpkin juice as she said softly. "I did."

He seemed to have come even closer as he asked again. "So...Does it mean that you are mine ?"

Her eyes widened as she looked into his grey ones. What did he mean by it ? She jumped back at his question, encircling with a shaking hand her glass of juice and draining it before clearing her throat. She shook her head and turned to face him again, closing and opening her mouth several times before asking.

"What...I mean...Why would you think that ?"

"Because you came back for me. To find me. In my bed." he finished with an amused smile raising both of his eyebrows.

"No ! I mean yes, but no that was not...I mean the landing part was not known to me. I do not get to choose it, I..."

"Landing ? So you fly too ?" he asked, seeming as excited as a little boy on Christmas morning.

"No, no, I do not fly, I just..."

"So okay, let me make a list." He passed his hand through his hair, before closing his eyes, letting his head roll back against the back of his chair. He then opened them again and looked at her with grey eyes full of malice while raising his right hand and starting to count on his fingers. "You pass through walls, but you're not a ghost. You can "land" somewhere you do not really know...but you don't fly. You appear from nowhere and most of the times when I sleep, but you're real. You do sandy sand stuff but you don't have a magical genie thing lamp. But...You...Came for me, then came back for me, in my bed, and you _chose_ to come for me ?"

"I, well, yes, I suppose I did..." At least the second time.

"So does that not mean that you...belong with me ?"

"Well, in a sense I suppose that my place is here to do what I have to do and..."

"So if you belongs with me...Does that not make you mine ?" he insisted.

She looked at him owlishly for a few seconds, blinking several times before turning her eyes back to her now empty glass of pumpkin juice. In a matter of seconds he had just turned the entire situation so that his absolutely unlogical affirmation would make complete sense. She looked back at him and saw amusement and something else burning inside his eyes, his charming smile ever so present on his full lips.

That...was not planned.

"I know what you are trying to do but it is not so easy to confuse me, Mr. Black."

"Does that mean yes ?"

"You won't let it go, will you ?"

His smile disappeared and his face seemed to became more solemn as he softly said "Never."

She furrowed her brows again. What was that ?

Before she could think of something to answer. She heard a very familiar and distinguished voice coming from the entrance of the kitchen. "Ticky, the Professor Dumbledor meant to ask you if you still had some lemondro-..."

Hermione felt herself freeze as the Professor McGonagall appeared in the kitchen, her old and elegant face seeming just a tiny bit younger as she took in Sirius with no surprise before looking at her and furrowing her brows.

"Mr. Black, I think you know the way to my office."

§§§

It hadn't be five minutes since they arrived to McGonagall's office when the door opened violently letting three young men appear, almost falling over themselves in their readiness to enter.

Hermione couldn't prevent a smile from coming to her face as she recognized the handsome faces of James and Remus, followed closely bya breathless Peter Pettigrew. Catching his breath, James passed a hand in his messy black hair his other hand on his back as he said in a too loud voice. "Professor, no matter what you are accusing him, I think I have done it too, and we can explain it !"

The old witch rose an eyebrow, hiding well her amusement, as she said calmly. "Your uncany habit to always know exactly where Mr. Black is no matter the time of the day will never cease to surprise me, Mr. Potter. And maybe you can effectively enlighten me on the reason why Mr. Black skipped all of his morning classes but one to go to the kitchen with a witch that I can not seem to find on the school register ?"

James let his brown eyes fall on Hermione and looked at her with a confused look. She looked at him with a pleading look, and his bright eyes passed from her pleading form to Sirius who hadn't looked at anyone beside her since they entered, as if medidating some dangerous ideas in his mind. James furrowed his brows as he took in the grave posture of his friend, straightening himself. "Of course, I can." He crossed the room in three strides confidently behind Sirius's chair and whispered in a high pitched voice through gritted teeths "You did whaattt ?"

McGonagall looked at them all before pushing her small glasses on the bridge of her nose "Then let's get started."

"I first have to ask the young woman's name."

Before Hermione could answer, Sirius took her hand and pressed it in his before standing up from his chair. The witch looked at him with confusion as the young man started to answer "Her name is Hermione."

"A family name would be helpful, Mr. Black."

The young man looked at Hermione who started to bit her lower lips bidding her choice and back at his friend, meeting James's eyes and looking at them with insistance. The young wizard seemed to understand Sirius's intention and started to mutely shake his head as the black-haired student turned again to face McGonagall.

"Black, her name is Black."

"Sirius, don't tell me..." started Remus starting to advance.

"Mr. Black, I may be old but not enough to believe this young witch is one of the member of the Black family."

"That is because she isn't, Professor. Not Yet. Her name is Black because she...because we're engaged."

 _To be continued..._

 _Surprised ?_


	5. 5th Symptom : Blurred Mind

_Thank you so much for the supporting reviews, favs and follows !_

 **Chapter V**

 **5th Symptom : Blurred Mind**

Hermione looked at Dumbledor's office portraits filled walls with an absent gaze. One word turned and swirled in her confused mind.

Engaged ?

"So you are young...Miss Black ? Is that right, Minerva ?"

She turned her head so fast that she felt her neck crack. The eyes of the Professor Dumbledor were as gentle as ever, and their sight was like a balm on her tense body. His eyes were still wise, but not as wise as she remembered them, for some knowledge could only be acquired through pain, and the usual penetrating inquisitiveness that was usually found in them was almost absent. There were almost carefree, their electric blue blooming with a vibrant kind of hope and joy.

She opened her mouth to confirm but the words were stuck in her throat. _Miss Black...Miss Black ?_ How did she come to this ? How did all of this happened ? The previous events pushed each other and rushed in her mind. It was like she was walking in a dream where nothing made senses anymore and she could only look at the events escape her and change shapes in the chimera fog-like reality.

"Yes, Professor" intervened Minerva with a concerned gaze "It is the young Sirius Black, Professor. He claims that this young witch is his fiancé and bears his name."

Each words the old witch spoke fell on Hermione's shoulders like a ton a bricks. She blinked several times, before closing her eyes trying to concentrate again. She had to think, she could do it. She had already been in far worses situations.

 _So...Does it mean that you are mine ?_

No. No. Bad thought. Bad, bad thought. She was overthinking this. She shouldn't let her identity dwell and float in the past. This was to protect it that he intervened, and she was glad about it. That's it.

"- quite adamant about the subject. Is that right, Miss Black ?"

The young witch jumped back on her sit before steadying herself. She pushed her messy curls back and tried to straighten her sweater before clearing her throat.

"Yes, Professor. I am his...We are...Well I am what he says."

"And did Mr. Black's...family play a role in this sudden engagement, my dear ?" slowly asked the Professor Dumbledor, and the worry in his eyes made Hermione completely stop fidgeting on her chair. Was he afraid of an arranged union ? It made senses, if it was all would be trapped and he would have no power over it.

For a moment, silence ruled over the room before she answered in an hesitant voice. "No...I...They aren't exactly aware of this."

Immediately the concerned gaze became sympathetic and Minerva Mcgonagall took a step back as if hit by relief and even harder by worry. She put a wrinkled and elegant hand on her stomach as she sighed "Oh Dear..."

"Miss Black, I wouldn't dare to presume" continued the Professor Dumbledor "But what would be your...maiden name ?"

Hermione opened her mouth automaticaly, her name almost falling from her lips, before she corrected herself. Hermione Granger should only exist once, and maybe not at all. So right now, the only answer she could give was... "I do...not have one, Professor. Nor do I have any family to speak of."

A light of understandment appeared in both of their eyes at Hermione's words. Minerva McGonagall, if still faint with worry, had now a kind smile curving her lips, and Dumbledor's eyes seemed to shine even brighter.

And just like that, Hermione understood the genius of this move. The heir of the Black, known troublemaker and pure Gryffondor at heart fell madly in love with an orphan witch of unknown blood status. By that Sirius proved yet again his disagreement with his upbringing and the story seemed very likely to happen considering his usual rashness and passionate nature. And just like that, none of the Professors seemed to care about where she came from, why she wasn't registered and how she had just come to the castle. They were simply convinced that they had to help the young couple.

Dumbledore confirmed her thoughts as he said in a smile. "Well...I would like to say that this was unexpected but...Knowing the young Black, it actually isn't. He has after all an unbelievable talent for finding trouble, and a strong drive to choose the most arduous and tricky way possible to live. But he also has a strong, passionate and noble heart. And has yet again proven so."

The old witch enthousiasticaly nodded and her eyes seemed strangely glassy as she cleared her throat. "Now, that the situation is cleared, I think we can pass to Miss Black's sorting."

§§§

"They are taking far too long for this, I need to find a way to enter." said Sirius as his frenetic gaze studied the gigantic eagle statue covering the entrance of Dumbledore's office.

"And I think you have some serious explaining to do, buddy" intervened James, stopping his best friend's pacing by placing some strong hands on his shoulders.

Sirius frantic gaze fixed himself in James's and he opened and closed his mouth severals times before saying "It's her. I am sure it's her, James. More sure of that than of anything else."

The other wizard furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to call his friend on his nonsense before a light of understanding appeared in his brown eyes. His hands fell from his shoulders as he whispersed "The girl from the attic ? Your dream girl ?"

"But we agreed that you were dreaming...and drunk too" intervened Peter with a confused tone.

"You thought that I was... So what, Wormtail ? Was I drunk on my own blood or the cruciatus ?" coldly asked Sirius.

"Don't get mad at Peter, Sirius." said Remus while raising calming hands "We need to think to this situation rationally. If the girl is real and if what Sirius lived is just as real...Then this witch isn't a normal one."

"Right !" confirmed James while snapping his fingers. "You said that she could pass through walls and do freaky sand stuff..."

"Do you think she is dangerous ?" asked Peter with wide eyes.

"The girl is not dangerous, she is mine !" Sirius almost screamed cutting their discussions.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose "Sirius, creatures or not people do not belong to people."

"But she's mine. She just is."

"Sirius..."

"No ! She is ! I...She was there for me. I was alone, in the dark and I was hurting. But she came. She came when no one could, when no one would. And she gave me relief, the hurting stopped. You of all people, Moony...You understand me, right ?"

The blond wizard looked in silence in the stormy grey eyes, before sighing. "I understand."

Sirius turned to his best friend "Jamie boy ?"

The Gryffindor Quiddich team's captain passed a hand in his hair messing them even more while shaking his head. "Man, I am such a sucker for romance...Count me in too, Pads."

"Peter ?" asked Remus while raising an eyebrow.

The smaller young man looked at each of his friend's face before saying with a tight smile. "Me too, of course, guys..."

§§§

Hermione got down from the office, awkardly straightening her gold and red tie. Her sorting in Gryffondor was the only expected and planned thing of her agenda actually realizing itself. That much she could manage. No matter what era, she liked to think of this house as her home.

She raised her head and stopped when she saw the boys who were waiting for her. It was the third time now that she saw them, but she still couldn't make herself get used to them. They looked too alive, too young, too handsome. In her mind their present golden image was always accompanied by the grey one of their broken futures. She felt her nails bit into her palms. No. That was why she had come. Her wishes...They came true. She didn't really understood the mechanisms but...She could do it.

Before she could present herself, Sirius had already engulfed her in another strong embrace. She was almost going to protest, she thought to herself. Almost. But it...wouldn't be polite. And she had good manners. And he smelled so good.

"Damn, Pads, let the girl breathe !"

In a matter of seconds she was ripped from the embrace by two strong hands on her shoulders and put in front of three pairs of avid and inquisitive eyes. "Well, well, well...So this is Paddy dream girl ..." started James Potter, a malicious glint shining in his warm brown eyes.

Seeing him Hermione didn't know if she should smile or cry. He was like a perpetual reminder of what Harry should have been, could have become. He was all confidence, and burning joy, and charming smiles. All tall, handsome and healthy. Not malnourished, not sad, certainly not hesitant. She was sure that he was just as brave, as warm-hearted and loyal. So similar yet so different...

Just as she thought that she fell into golden orbs and a smile graced her features in front of the curious gaze of her old Professor. He too, was more young and handsome roo. His back wasn't hunched as if he was trying to appear smaller. His smile was hesitant, and some shyness resided into it, but it was full of hope and bits of happiness could be found into it. No despair, no haunted look, no constant warriness.

And then here he was...The traitor. She was shocked by how innocent he looked. If she didn't know better, she never would have thought him capable of murder. He was all roundness and childlike charm. And already she felt her heart cooling in the perspective of who he would become.

"If only you could imagine my surprise when I learned that Sirius had a _serious_ girl..."he stopped as if to let his joke sink in and started again "I mean Sirius always had girls, like tons of girls..."

"Literal tons of girls" intervened Peter.

Remus nodded, repressing a smile as James continued. "Like loads of girls, more girls in a year than any other man in a life, literal mountains over mountains-"

"Shut the fuck up, Prongs !" said Sirius trying to take her back from his hold. The young seeker simply laughed and evaded him, keeping Hermione in his hold.

"But you're like his girl-girl."

"The word you are searching for his fiancé, Prongs" intervened calmly Remus, a smile playing on the edge of his lips.

"Yeah who would have thought this old dog would be engaged before me and Lil-"

Before he could finished Sirius had managed to steal her and kept her close, his arms encircling her, his smell surrounding her dizzy head again.

"Well, Miss Black what we mean is...Welcome to the marauder's family !"

Hermione's gaze passed from James who had opened his arms in a grand and dramatic gesture to Remus welcoming and amused gaze and Peter curious but confused one. And before she could know a smile broke on her lips.

§§§

It seemed too good to be true.

Maybe she was overthinking it but it all seemed far too good, she thought as she looked at the Gryffondor common room. Nothing had changed. And the only things different seemed better, as if everything was designed to put her warriness to sleep. But everytime she closed her eyes she could feel it, this presence, this thing who never slept. She knew he was there in the back of her mind, the sand spirit, looking at the scene through her eyes and thinking, scheming, planning.

How could she protect this ? She thought as she looked James continuing his incessent chatter while letting himself fall on the couch, his arms around the shoulders of an annoyed Remus. Sirius had sat too, but never once had he let her go, to the point that she was now completely flushed against his body. His scent surrounded her like mist, and seemed to make her eyelids heavier and heavier, and encouraging her blurry mind to drift in the realm of dreams. Leather, old aged whisky and thunder...

She followed the conversations in a haze, listening to the conversations of dead men and never having felt more alive.

After a while the light of the fire was starting to die out and everything started to sleep around them as dakness invaded the room.

Sirius seemed even more relaxed than before, his head was thrown back against back of the couch and he was completely spread out, his eyes closed. She would have thought him to be asleep if it was not for his soft humming and his hand in her hair, the long fingers attempting to play with several curls but mostly getting tangled in them.

"Why did you do that ?" she whispersed in a low voice almost not daring to cut the night with her question.

His eyes opened and suddenly they were like stars shining in the obscurity of the room. "Why did I do what ?" he asked in the same tone.

"Why did you say that we were engaged ? I mean I understand that the situation called for something drastic. But...The consequences seem to be a little bit too heavy."

"What consequences ? It's quite easy doll. We're engaged, so we'll have to get married." he answered, a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

She straightened up and looked at him with big eyes, tightening her hands in fists not to raise her voice as she ranted in angry whispers. "Are you mad ?! You cannot be serious on that ?"

"But I am Sirius, doll."

"Ho don't you use this on me ! I am seri-, no, well it is a grave matter. People don't get married just like that !"

"Well...Yes they do. In the wizarding world, an engagement can only be broken by replacement with another one. So...We kind of have to."

Hermione opened and closed her mouth several times, furrowing her brows before saying in a desperate tone. "You don't know me ! We have seen each other two times ! You didn't even know my name severals hours ago !"

"Some people get married without seeing each other faces..."

She passed her hands in her hair, pulling at them while taking calming breaths "You are insufferable ! You...You...You have to fall in love to get married !" she threw as her last argument.

A silence followed her statement, but the silver eyes never left hers for even one minute. The young man moved from his previously relaxed position, also straightening himself while looking at her with a pensive gaze. The fire had finally died out in its last cracklings and the absence of light and noise made her hyper-aware of each of his mouvements.

Slowly, so very slowly he bent toward her, pushing a stray curl back before letting his hand fall on her face, caressing her cheek. He was now so close that she could see every details of his face even in the blatant obscurity, from his thick lashes to his full lips curving into a charming and secretive smile. As he spoke again, the warmth of his breaths brushed against her face and lips in an almost inviting way.

"Should I make you fall in love with me, then ?"

 _To be continued..._

 _What do you think ?_


	6. 6th Symptom : Overwhelmed

**Chapter VI**

 **6th Symptom**

 **Overwhelmed**

As soon as she entered the dormity, the girls who had been talking in hushed tones turned off the light of their wands and closed their bed's curtains in a curt and harsh noise. She furrowed her brows before advancing toward the only empty bed, sighing and tugging on her tie.

The girl's dormity was not exactly the same. Hermione could tell the differences even as the moon's glow was the only light in the room. It seemed more authentic and better kept. The ancient furnitures were shining with novelty, the covers and pillows were of a cream color and looked cosier, and the Gryffindor's banner was of a more vibrant red, as if made of a different material.

She was cut from her reflexion by the apparition of a new light. She immediately turned toward the wand who had just lightened up and saw a young witch already dressed for the night, a mischievous smile playing on her lips and a curious gleam shining in her bright blue eyes.

"Well, well...Here is the new girl ! Come, come closer so I can have a good look at you !" she started.

Hermione stopped her work with her tie and hesitated before making her way toward the girl. She was a pretty girl, in a roguish and uncaring way. Her long dark hair were a mess and several braids played with the rest of her wavy strands pushing them out of her face. Her mouth was a little too big to fit the standard beauty image but it was full and made to smile.

She stopped in front of the witch's bed, considering her options one more time, before accepting to sit where her new housemate was patting. They spent a moment in silence before the girl started to laugh.

"You really aren't who I thought I would see when I was told Black had gotten engaged...But you kinda make sense. In a weird way. You seem a little bit...intense yourself."

The thought of being upset by this affirmation crossed her mind but was soon replaced by a much more dreaded conclusion. "Everybody already knows ?" she asked, furrowing her brows.

"It's Black we're talking about. Rumours of what fricking underwear he's wearing spread faster than the dragon pox. What did you think the girls were giving you the silent treatment for ?"

"Then... Why aren't you part of it ?"

Her new housemate laughed again, and her laugh was so strong that Hermione could feel the bed shake. "Oh please ! Me ? Interested in Black ? The boy already has enough love for himself without me giving him some. I mean, seriously, the wizard is a real tosser. No offence, though. He is just a jerk. Even though more half of the wizarding population is quite ready to build him a shrine because of that face of his, I know that he is a jerk. Not the worst, though ! I don't mean to insult your beau, or anything... just saying that I am having to much fun to plan your murder like the other harpies" she intervened raising her hands in a calming gesture.

Hermione felt a smile curve her lips before her antics. It was quite evident that this girl said absolutely everything that passed through her mind without a care of how it would be received but for some reasons, she was comforted by it. She had always prefered hard truth to soft lies, that was one of the reasons why she was at home in Gryffindor.

She straightened herself and said in a clear and articulated voice. "I am Hermione G-Black. Pleased to meet you."

Another roguish smile twisted her mouth as she shook her hand "Emmeline Vance. And just the same, girlie."

§§§

Emmeline Vance proved to be a very fortunate encounter.

They seemed to be opposed in practically everything. Emmeline was rash, impulsive, very talkative, not so studious, and more importantly a real Quiddich fan. She also swore like no other, laughed and talked very loud and was the fatal opposite of a morning person. But they were similar for what Hermione would say to be the most important details. The girl was intelligent and talented, eager to know more and to better herself, not afraid to voice her opinion or state her mind, confident and she had her heart in the right place.

They left the dormity together and when they passed the rows of angry female gazes, Hermione felt relieved to have some compagny. She hadn't really thought of what being with Sirius Black would imply. Now of course, it seemed evident to her. And for some reason she could not stop herself to smile when hearing Emmeline calling him a pretty jerk.

She soon understood that she really didn't mean it as an insult. And in fact she quite admired the fact that he was such a proud addition to the house of Gryffondor with his...family background, his abilites as the quiddich team beater and...Actually that's it. Because for the rest, he did come from old money, did not think that he should be denied everything or that someone could say no to him and stick to it. Apparently he and James Potter were also party animals and liked to prank people, sometimes in a funny way and others in an uncaringly cruel way. He also liked to drink a little bit too much and if he was not the man-whore that some claimed him to be, he was a right flirt.

A jerk, seemed the right summary. But a loved one. It seemed no matter what he did, not liking him was an almost impossible feat. Slytherins hated him but some still hoped he would come to reason and do what was expected of the heir of the Black family. Gryffindors and Hufflepuff mostly worshipped the ground he walked on and if Ravenclaws were not servants in his cult, they still admired his strange abilities to acheive some of the highest grades without doing...Well with doing nothing to be honest.

And this was without a doubt the reason why Hermione smiled at Emmeline's rantings. For she also had been annoyed by the immature and uncaring attitude of the adult Sirius and sometimes shocked by his rash and even cruel affirmations on Snape and some slytherins. But at the same time she had been even more confident about the fact that his heart was good, and even more concerned about her inability to say no to his grey eyes.

"Black, Hermione Black, right ?"

Hermione turned to her left as she was almost ready to leave the common room. A boy in Gryffindor uniform had just stopped her. He was tall, had straw colored hair carefully styled and a square jaw. His typical pretty boy appearance and leering smile made her think for a moment of Cormac MacLaggen.

"Yes, that would be me."

" Heard you just got here yesterday ? If you feel a little bit lost, don't hesitate to call me. I'm Sturgis Podmore." he finished with a smile big enough to show his straight white teeth.

Podmore ? Podmore...Wasn't that a member of the Phoenix Order ? She furrowed her brows as she was looking at him, trying to link him to the old picture she saw of the original constitution of the order. He did seem familiar.

Hermione felt an arm fall on her shoulders as another voice intervened in the conversation.

"I don't think that's good for your health to make that kind of offers, Podmore." said James Potter a amused gleam shining in his mischievous brown eyes. His smile was as charming as always, full lips spread seeming made for it. "Hey paddy, I think Podmore is asking your girl something !" he then exclaimed in a louder voice.

She forced herself to turn her head toward the stairs, her neck still ensared by James's arm. Sirius, Remus and Peter were effectively going down the stairs of their dormity, and, hearing James's exclamation, she saw Sirius arching an eyebrow, a slow smile then coming to cover his lips at her sight.

Hermione broke the eye contact immediately, looking around and seeing that the scene had gathered quite a lot of attention. Most of the students had stopped speaking to look at it, and some even came closer with all of their Gryffindor's discretion, so literally none.

For the first time, she also noticed from the corner of her eyes that a lot of others male students had tried for an imitation of Black attire, leaving their hair fall before their eyes and tying their tie as loosely as possible. Her observations were cut again as she felt arms surrounding her waist and hands spreading on her stomach in a slow gesture.

"Hey Black, you were good on the Quiddich Pitch last week !"said Sturgis while stepping back, raising his hands in a calming gesture.

The black haired wizard let a dry smile appear on his lips as he put his chin on the top of Hermione's head. "Thanks Podmore, I'm really good at hitting stuff."

James and Peter started to laugh and Hermione furrowed her brows before freeing herself from Sirius's embrace. The atmosphere was quickly changing and there was something deeply upsetting with the way James was twirling his wand in his right hand, and in the way more and more students gathered. And the most upsetting thing was this twin light that she saw both in the eyes of James and Sirius, this vicious and delighted light at finally finding a new victim.

Jerks, Emmeline Vance had said. And she was just realizing it.

"Right", she intervened, "do whatever you want I am going to eat."

She shook her head and left the common room, violently slamming the door behind her.

"Doll ! Doll, wait for me !" called Sirius as he opened the door to follow her. "Damn, she walk fast..."

§§§

Hermione was furiously putting toasts in her plate when she felt legs surrounding hers and arms encircling her waist. She sighed and closed her eyes as the now familiar smell of whisky and leather surrounded her. "Do you have any notion of personnal space ?"

Sirius put his head on her shoulders and grabbed a piece of toast in her plate. "Why should I ? We'll get married soon, so you know, your space is my space, your body is my body and all that stuff"he finished while munching on a piece of toast.

She let her head fall into her hand and took calming breaths before saying. "We already agreed that I never agreed to marry you."

"And we already went over the fact that it will still happen."

He made her want to pull at her hair, scream and flip the table at the same time. She half turned around to see his face and noticed that, again they seemed to attract quite a bit of interested looks from various students passing in the Great Hall. She lowered her voice and said in a still angry tone.

"Can you just do one thing without attracting the attention of the entire school ?"

The black haired raised an eyebrow and looked at her with a mischievous glint in his grey eyes before saying. "Doll, look at me." he passed a hand in his silky black hair and winked at her "Do you really think I can ?"

She felt her mouth pull itself in a smile, and she repressed a laugh. Just like that she knew it was impossible to stay mad at him. A jerk, but a loved one. It seemed to be a very good summary. She turned toward her plate again, loading her as she saw more and more things disappear under the attacks of Sirius's hands, like her eggs, and her fork.

"You know that I have a name, right ?"

Warm breath brushed her neck as he sighed. "But it's too long, doll. And everybody is calling you that. I don't want to call you like everybody."

She hesitated and scored a piece of bacon before it too disappeared. "Well, my friends call me 'Mione."

"Mione ?" he let out a thoughtfull humming sound before saying. "Then I'll call you Minnie, it kinda sound like Mine."

She furrowed her brows again and got ready to call him out on this when another weight on the bench. "Hey there girlie, still mad ?" Hermione turned to fall in the absolutely unrepentant and bright gaze of James Potter. "Ho there are still some bacon left !" he said in a happy tone before serving himself in her plate too.

"Can you guys please leave the girl some breathing space ?" intervened Remus in an annoyed tone as he too took place on the bench. He then turned toward her and smiled, handing out her timetable of the week. "I think you'll need this." he said in a soft tone.

"Yeah" continued James, his mouth full. "I am the prefect so I actually I was supposed to get it for you but Moony was faster than me."

"I wasn't faster Prongs you just forgot about it and she never would have had it if I didn't think of bringing it to her."calmly answered Remus while filling his glass of pumpkin juice.

"And that, that, is why you are the smart one, Moony !" said James theatrically while pointing him with an invasive finger.

Remus pushed the finger away with a smile and started to fill his plate. And all of sudden, James sat up straight and the corner of his mouth rose in a charming smile as he passed a hand in his hair, messing them further. "Hey, Evans...Slept well ?"

Hermione rose her head at the speed of light. Evans ? Lily Evans ? Just as she thought that, her gaze fell in green eyes. All too familiar green eyes. The same. The exact same. They were just in a very feminine face. Pale, smooth, with harmonious and regular features, red lips and surrounded by hair almost as red. How pretty she was...

The red haired witch arched an eyebrow before saying curtly "Potter." and turning her heals toward the exit, her arms full of books.

James looked struck by thunder at the simple reminder of his name. He stayed, open-mouthed, looking at her disappearing figure with big howlish eyes before starting to hit Remus on his arms in a repetitive way. "Guys, guys, did you hear that ? She answered me. I like told her : Slept well ? And she said : Potter. She...She acknowledge me. She said Potter ! Not, piss off Potter but..." his tone changed in a more feminine way and he said in a much more sensual tone "Potter."

Remus started to repress a laugh in his pumpkin juice as James started to put hair behind his ears and check out his teeths in the silver plate of oatmeal. "What has changed ? Do I look different ? What...?"

He then stopped himself and turned to look at Hermione as if having an epiphany. "You ! You are what changed ! You are like my one damn lucky charm !"

Before she could react he gripped her head and put a sounding and reasonning kiss on it, before Sirius free her from his grasp. "Hey stop harassing Minnie, you have your girl !" said the black haired wizard in an amused tone.

James straightened again. "That's true ! You..." he said pointing to Hermione "You stay here, I am going to bring back Evans and ask her to have my babies !" he said before dashing out of the room.

Hermione felt the rumble of Sirius's laugh in her back as she looked at her plate, putting back the piece of her toast she managed to grab and trying to make sense of what just happened.

§§§

When the night fell, she felt so tired that she almost fell asleep while making her way back to her dormity. Emmeline laughed at seeing her stumble in the corridor, making fun of her by making her belive that the boys had caught up to her. She shuddered just at the thought. She had thought that a life of adventures with Harry and Ron would have prepared her to that. But never in her life had she met boys more draining than them.

When she fell on her bed, she was dead to this world and would have stayed so for the next eight hours if she hadn't felt something hot passing in her back repetitively as if to awaken her. Her suspicions were confirmed when she opened her eyes to silver ones.

"Nooo..." she whined while trying to cover herself up with her covers. "Just let me sleeep..."

"Shhhh..." he covered her mouth with his right hand, putting a finger against his mouth with his other one. "You don't want to wake up the other girls. Here, put this on and follow me." He tossed one of his jackets to her and she caught it, making a tentative to kick at it with her covered legs as she said. "Sirius Black, I don't want to follow you anywhere ! What I want is to sleep at least eight hours."

Hermione covered her eyes with her right arm and sighed, determined to ignore the wizard. She first rejoiced of the newfound silence that followed her complaint but her distrust soon rose again as she felt a stange warmth above her, a strange warmth with an all too familiar smell.

She furrowed her brows under her arm before finally abdicating and taking it off of her sight. And then she regretted it. He didn't leave, of course he didn't, she knew him, but it seemed her sleep induced mind made her forget just how stubborn Sirius Black was. He was just above her, a smile playing on his full lips and when he saw that she was looking at him he went even lower taking support on his arms until his long hair teased her face in a ticklish caress.

"What ? Are you trying to avoid me ? You know girlie, avoiding me could be real dangerous for you..."

She then did the first thing she could think off and kicked him hard in the leg. Suprised, he lost support and rolled of the bed, swearing in a muffled voice. She then put the leather jacket on as quickly as she could, raising it in hope of it hiding her red cheeks while saying in a tentative of a harsh tone. "Here ! I am coming alright !"

His head rose from the floor and he looked at her with an owlish gaze before starting to laugh. "Damn, girl...I think this is the first time I was ever kicked from a bed. Remind me to be more careful with you next time !"

Next time ? Did he intend to sneak into her bed often ? And how did he even entered the dormity ? Before she could voice her interrogations he had already taken her hand dragging her reluctant form out of the comfort of her warm bed.

"Come, 'Minie ! You'll like it !" he finished with a wink that would have seemed ridiculous on every other face than his awfully handsome one.

She almost snorted at his assertion. She doubted that she would like whatever surprise he had planned for her.

§§§

She was right.

And this fact echoed strongly in her mind as she looked at the quiddich pitch in front of her. Panic started to swell in her chest as she saw the wizard a broom in his hand and a mischievous smile on his face.

"I don't fly" she slowly said, pronouncing each word as clearly as she could.

The black-haired man seemed surprised and looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Why ?"

She cleared her throat and looked at the sky intently as she repeated what she had always said to get out of this kind of situation. "Because flying is completely unnecessary and illogical. I mean if we were meant to fly, surely we would have been created with wings, like a veela, an hippogriff, a phoenix or even the common bird ! But we were made with two feet to walk upon the earth. Plus we-..."

"Right, just stop right here. I am sure you have a very...well-thought off speech about why you shouldn't fly. But here the thing : you're a witch, so not flying is actually the less logical thing about all of this. Okay, now we have discussed it nice and all, come on." he cutted, taking her hand in his.

"I can't !" she intervened trying to take her hand back from his grasp.

"And why is that ?"

"Because ! Because..." she took a deep breath and her eyes fixed on the ground mumbled. "I am afraid of hights..."

A silence followed her statement, and she closed her eyes ready for a mockery of some sort but only heard a very calm "Okay".

She raised her eyes, surprised and almost let out a sigh of relief as she saw how calm and understanding the silver gaze was. But just as she prepared herself to thank him and apologize, a smile came to play again on his full lips as he pulled her closer, his hand firmly enclosing her's.

"Now that it's all settled and clear, let's go."

A sharp breath escaped her and a high-pitched whine threathened to fall from her lips as he put her forcefully on the broom. She tried to bat his hands away as she almost screamed "Black, didn't you hear what I just said ?!"

"I did." She felt his long form settling behind her, his arms positioning themselves around her as long-fingered hands come before her, holding the handle. "Then why am I on this bloody broom ?!"

She felt him shaking with laughter behind her before he said close to her ear, his warm breath tickling her. "Because fear is the dumbest reason not to do stuff."

Even if she would deny it later with all her strenght, she didn't remember having ever screamed that loud in all her life.

 _To be continued..._

 _Sorry for the wait : life happened_


	7. 7th Symptom : Obligated

**_7th Symptom :_**

 ** _Obligated_**

She hated him. She really, really hated him.

"Let me go ! Black, let me go right away !"

She heard him chuckle close to her hear, his warm breath caressing her skin. "What did you say, girl ? Higher ?"

Her screams rang again in the air as he rose the broom, making them fly much higher than before. She only knew that because she could feel it, her eyes subbornly closed and her hands holding the wood of the broom hard enough for her knuckles to have gone white.

"Hey girl, open your eyes, you're missing the view."

"I am not missing anything, Mr. Black ! And I certainly won't open my eyes ! "

"You won't ?"

"Oh no."

"You're sure about that ?"

"Absolutely."

"Interesting..." he continued, and she could feel him smile against her ear. "So...I could do anything, and you wouldn't see me ?"

"What are you- ?"

Her voice broke as she felt lips kissing her just behind her ear, slowly. She felt like her heart, breath and even her blood stopped in her veins. His lips were warm against her sensitive skin, almost stinging from the night's wind harsh touch. Under the shock her eyes sprang open and she felt herself slip from the broom as arms tightened around her and an all too charming chuckle rang in her ears.

"Was it that bad ?"

She couldn't have answered even she had wanted to as she gazed upon what looked like a sea of shining lights in the dark sky. It was breathtaking. Never had she felt that close to the sky, it was surrounding her like a blanket, engulfing her and drowning her with its beauty.

"I still hate you" she whispersed as she found her voice back, not believing in a single word she said, and from the snort behind her, neither was he.

"Right...And you will never, never marry me. Because you hate me and we clearly do not know each other, also I am insufferable and of course because it would not be the rational thing to do."

"Yes, absolutely-"

"Just like flying is absolutely irrational and certainly not something a level-headed witch like you would ever do. And yet...I seemed to have made you do it."

An incredulous sound was building in her chest as she writhed against him to be able to see part of his face. "I am stopping you, right there, Black. Right there."

He arched one of his perfect brow, a smile playing on his lips. He seemed to be perfectly at ease, his face illuminated by the soft light of the stars, seeming to shine in their company. Every bit of his expression was defiant, as if daring her to actually stop him. And then again the atmosphere seemed to change, as the light in theses grey eyes intensified. How did he do that ? How in one look he seemed to transform the entire mood ? And why was her mouth so dry ?

"Why did you came to me, Hermione ?" he finally asked, his tone void of any leftover teasing.

Why did...? She tensed as her brows furrowed. What could she answer ? What should she answer ?

"When we first met...you had this strange way of looking at me. It...was not the first time you saw me, right ?

She swallowed with difficulty. And lowered her eyes to his neck where black hair flirted with the color of his dark jacket. She had to thread carefully, very carefully. If there was something Sirius wasn't, it was stupid, and there was nothing he hated more than lies. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before daring to meet his eyes. "I just...wanted to protect this light in you."

She was going face forward again, avoiding his eyes, as she felt his big hands slowly sliding from her waist to her stomach. "And why did you heal me ?"

"Because...Because... I wished that...I mean I didn't wanted you to...I _had to._ I just _had to_."

A strange light had appeared in his eyes, almost hungry, in an avid way, still pressed his hands against her, adding "And ?"

"And ? Well, I suppose...I did...like your eyes." she finished while making sure not to meet the amused silver gaze.

She almost squeaked as she was more firmly pressed against him, the young wizard bending toward her face, forcing her to look at him.

"You're wounding me, doll...Just my eyes ?"

She felt a furious rush of blood passing through her body and settling in her cheeks. And the man seemed to be tremoundusly pleased by her embarassement. She cleared her throat before speaking, trying to disctract him and herself from her red face.

"Why did you give me your name ?" she finished by asking him.

There was still this malicious light shining in his eyes, he approached his face from her's even more, until his breath teased her mouth in warm puffs of air.

"Well...I just _had to_."

§§§

"Why are we running ?" she asked, completely out of breath, as she tried to tug her hand out Sirius's one's embrace. His long legs made a quick business of crossing the corridors making the entire parade of walls, tapestries, and portraits a blurry sight. Lord, she didn't know that she was that out of shape.

She almost crashed into him as he abruptly stop before a door that, being the best friend of Harry Potter, she knew far too well. The infirmary ? Just as she was going to voice her thoughts, he turned around, putting his other hand against her mouth to be sure that she kept quiet.

He looked at her and slowly let his hand fall from her mouth, putting a long finger against his mouth as he opened the door and entered the room backwards making her following him by pulling at her hand. Her feet advanced without giving her the chance to even think about it. She felt completely entranced in his figure half drowned in the obscurity, half illuminated by the soft glow of the night coming through the high and large windows. His hair were a little tousled by the run, and several locks were falling before his glowing eyes.

She felt her heart skip a beat before starting thundering in her chest.

 _Do you...wish for something, child ?_

The voice. It had been a while since she had last heard it. Since her last travel. But she would be a fool to have believed that she wouldn't hear it again. No, she didn't wish for anything. She wouldn't. She tried to convince herself that she didn't wish for anything as the thundering of her heart started to deafen her. What about him had put her in this state ? Or the question should rather be : What about him _hadn't_ ?

"Why are we here ?" she finally asked, silently congratulating herself for having been able to form an entire sentence without stuttering.

He raised an eyebrow before saying, a smile playing on the corner of his lips. "You said you wanted to sleep right ?"

"Why would I sleep in the infirmary ? I have a dormity."

"Yes" slowly continued Sirius, as if he was explaining something that was utterly obvious "But they are other girls in your dormity, and they could report me if they found me in your bed. We could always make something up about being in the infirmary before the opening."

Hermione blinked several times, before furrowing her brows and pulling at her curls. She swallowed back the frustrated scream that was building in her throat and passed her hand on her forehead. This wizard was giving her an headache.

"Why" she stopped to take a deep breath "Why would you sleep in my bed ?"

" _You_ came to me in my bed. _We_ fell asleep together in the Common Room yesterday. We started something, girl. We have to continue."

"Black-"

"Separated rooms ? That early in the marriage ? What about the kids, Minnie, think about the kids."

he said with a straight face.

"We do not have kids !" she shrieked.

"Yet." he calmly answered, seeming completely unaffected.

"We are not married !"

" _Yet_."

"This is madness ! We do not know each other !"

At this Sirius started to laugh, before unexpectedly grabbing her wirst, pulling her close enough for her to crash against his chest.

"I know who you are, Minnie. You are this weird girl who can go through walls and seem to have logic in a very high esteem. You are also the only one..." his tone changed completely, his laugh dying on his lips as his eyes seemed to burn through her mind. "...who has ever wanted to protect me."

There was something in his eyes. She had always asked herself how so much fire could live in theses icy gaze. Her heart started to beat thunder against her chest again. Was she ? Was she really the only one ? She felt her shoulders sagged as she realized that she truly was. James and Sirius protected each other, but Sirius hadn't left his home yet, and she didn't know how much he had talked about his punishments to his friends. Dumbledor and the professors were powerless in front of the old traditions, if they had ever wanted to fight against them.

"You don't have to do all of this...You don't have to do anything, Sirius. No matter what I will be protecting you, this is why I am here."

His hands descended and attached themselves to her hips in a bruising hold. "What about what I want to do ? What about what I need ?"

 _Yes, what does the boy want ? What does he truly wants ? Don't you want to know ?_

No. She didn't want to know, she had to make a diversion. She looked at the wall and try to adopt an indifferent tone as she said "I do not know what you want and I am sure that you do not know what you want either half of the time-"

One of his hands engulfed themselves in her frizzy hair and gently pulled at it. " I know what I want and I'll tell you. I want to keep you. I want to keep you close, so close that you will forget how your skin feels when it's not touching mine. I want you to look at me like this time where there was only the two of us in the dark, when you looked at me as if you knew me and I knew you, and I want you to search my eyes when they are not on you, I want you to hear me when I am not talking, I want you to burn when I touch you and to track my steps when I am far. No one ever loved me enough...I know them, I have seen them, they all think they do but _you_ have seen me in the dark. And _you_ looked ready to cry for me. My own mother can't seem to decide if she loves or hates me, my own mother has never shed just one tear for me in all my life...But you, you who is the first person on this earth to be here _just for me_. You must have been made to love me, Minnie, you _have_ to."

 _Interesting..._

§§§

She had rarely slept so peacefully. As she woke up she felt excessively warm, and was surrounded by the smell of whisky and leather. Also, something heavy was on her chest.

She lazily opened her eyes and was blinded by the light for a moment. She tried to cover her eyes with her arm and found herself paralyzed. Furrowing her brows, she lowered her gaze and saw a long, heavy and very male-limb obstructing her chest. She sighted and pushed with her legs to raise herself against the headboard.

Sirius was still sleeping, his face burried in the pillows, facing the bed as he tried to merge with it. She looked at him through heavy lids, thinking. The boy was messed up. He seriously was. She always have had doubt while seeing how he just couldn't seem to be able to control himself and just had to touch every single one of his friends, on even Harry, always giving him hugs and kissing his head.

He had shown several other signs of affective deprivation disorder, but she had always put it on the fact that he hadn't actually _seen_ people for 12 years and that most of his best friends had died. How stupid she was...She let her head meet the wall in a muffled tone.

What was she going to do ? She hadn't come for that.

 _Oh haven't you ?_

She childlishly attempted to cover her ears with her hands. No, she hadn't. She had came to save him. Save because his life had just been absolutely and illogicaly the most unjust one she had ever encountered. She had come to save him so that Harry would have his godfather, someone to love him.

 _Yes, of course. And how good it feels to be needed ?_

No, she didn't come for herself. She came because Harry...

 _Harry needed you. And this man needs you. And the charming enslaved race of houselves needs you. How much easier does it feel to disguise what you want, what you truly want in a self-imposed mission ? How Gryffindors love to sacrifice themselves, or should I say how they love to convince themselves that they do. But I see through every heart, and I will_ _ **bare**_ _them all._

Stop ! Just as she felt that she was going to pull her hair out in frustration and denial, the door of the infirmary delicatedly opened, and a slim and elegant figure entered. With her long blond hair, perfect face, and icy eyes, Narcissa Malfoy, or should she say Narcissa Black had never been more beautiful. She didn't have that pinched look that she adopted in her adult life, and her eyes didn't seem as extinct as they were when she had seen her for the first and only time in her life.

But...There was a problem. The problem was plainly written, inscribed in her milky skin. The problem was the black eye, and the split lip she sported, the problem was how skittish she looked when she penetrated the room her eyes not leaving the ground as she said in an almost too low tone to he heard. "Miss Pomfresh, I am so very sorry to bother you again. But I would need another pot of the salve you gave last month, I am afraid I finished the last one and...I can not enter a classrom with-"

Slowly raising her eyes the Slytherin witch immediately stopped, her eyes opening wide as she took a clumsy step back her hand, the hand that came from a bruised wirst knocking several potions, in her tentative of retreat.

The noise woke up Sirius who instantly rose in the bed, looking around for the sign of a threat. His gaze stopped on the Slytherin uniform before passing on the marred face. The wizard opened his mouth, closing it before opening it again, his features contorting more and more to form a terrifying mask of rage.

He tossed the covers on the side and crossed the room in two angry strides, grasping the witch by her shoulders "Who the fuck did this to you, Cissa ? Cissa, answer me ! Answer who did this to you !"

"It is none of your business, Sirius let me go !" trying to hide her face from his glare.

"The fuck it's none of my business, Cissa ! Cissa I swear if you do not answer me I'll hunt the fucker 'till-"

Sirius stopped and his hands fell from her shoulders to her shaking arms. His face had become dangerously calm, his mouth raising in a rictus as he said, his voice trembling under his fury "It's him, right ?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Sirius-"

"It is Malfoy, right ? The tosser your fucking father bethroted you to ! That's him ?! Right ?!"

"Sirius, please, listen to me, Sirius we can't risk it-"

"I won't risk anything, Cissa. I'll kill him."

He let go of her in an almost violent movement before putting his jacket on and leaving the room, slamming the door so hard that the room shook.

Hermione didn't know when she left the bed to face Narcissa, but the witch before her seemed to be in the middle of a panic attack. She was shaking, her hands burrowed in her silver hair and pulling at them, air coming out of her mouth through ragged breaths. Her silvery blue eyes madly passed from one thing to another before settling on Hermione.

She grasped her in a surprisingly bruising hold for such a slim and delicate looking witch. "You...You are her, right ? You are going to marry Sirius, right ? So you are family ? Family protects, we must protect earch other. You have to do something. You have to do something, if no one stops him he'll kill him, he will kill him, I know he will ! You can't let him go to Azkadan !"

Then the blond witch fell on the ground, tears starting to fall on her cheeks as she whispersed to herself "Father has always said that he would go there...He doesn't know, Sirius just, he just _can't_ stop you know ? I tried so hard to protect him..."

Without knowing, Hermione had taken several steps back, blood pumping hard enough to make every noise come to her muted. Azkaban...He just _couldn't_ stop. She remembered his mad gaze as he looked at Peter Pettigrew, his admission that he survived on the idea of killing him, and she never ran as fast in all her life.

 _To be continued..._

 _So sorry for the wait ! But thank you all for your support, every review, fav and follow just keep me going !_

 _I think this chapter has answered some of your questions and maybe also gave birth to new ones... Well I am already writing the following chapter, so he should come fast, stay tuned !_


	8. 7th Symptom : Crisis

8th Symptom

Crisis

Someone, she had to find someone.

Her breath came out in a ragged way, cold sweat ran down on her back and she felt feverish as she entered Gryffindor's common room.

She almost fell on the ground with relief as she met the playful gaze of James Potter.

"Hey girlie, nice PJ's, it seems like somebody didn't sleep in her room last night..." the Gryffindor seeker said with a singsong voice.

His gaze went from teasing to shocked as she grabbed his arms in a viciously strong hold, saying with a laborious breath "Sirius...Sirius will kill him..."

"Wow, wow, wow kill who ?"

At this point the happy morning atmosphere had completely died down. Remus had all but forgotten the homeworks he was revising and Peter had a fearful light in his eyes. She felt a cold lump falling in her stomach at how seriously his friends took the statement. After all, Sirius was Sirius...He would never...never...

"Lucius Malfoy..." she finished, with a broken voice. "Lucius Malfoy...has been-"

She coudn't put a term to her sentence, James was already taking off running, Remus and Peter hot on his heels.

§§§

Slytherins were more than a little bit startled when the very known face of Sirius Black showed itself in their common room. But startled was not a strong enough word to describe how icy the atmosphere became because of the very dangerous and mad look that was currently dancing in his grey eyes.

Lucius Malfoy sat on one of his designed green leather chair and welcomed the black sheep of the Black House with an amused smile.

"To what do we you the pleasure, Black ?"

Magic started to saturate the atmosphere, the dark and silky strands of Sirius seeming to animate themselves under a charge of electricity.

"You will wip that smile from your face, Malfoy or you won't have a mouth to talk in a few minutes."

The smile on Lucius's lips slowly became its transformation into a snear. Something cold had taken place in his eyes as he rose from his chair. Detaching each word he said "So...she talked."

He didn't have to say one more word. Piercing screams were heard in the common room as Sirius's fist crashed into his face, sending him on the ground. Several girls ran from the room or covered their eyes as young men hurried themselves toward Sirius to restrain him. As they approached him he pulled out his wand raising it towards the ceiling and making several windows shatter and the glass from the chandelier in a deafening noise.

"If just one of you...just one of you fucking get in my way I'll kill him !"

Malfoy looked at him, his mouth bloodied and a light of recognition shining in his eyes. He started to laugh, an hysterical sound leaving his lips and making his body shake erraticaly. "You...You have never looked more like your mother, Black. I see, it is plain as the day. You can be as much of a Gryffindor as you want, but you can not ran away from your blood" he spitted blood on the ground. "The ranpant madness, the desire of blood, you're like a war dog getting delirious at seeing the first drop of blood..."

He couldn't finish his sentence as Sirius kicked him, his foot connecting his head with a sick crack. The hands of the young Gryffindor were violently trembling but his voice was strangely steady as he spoke "Mad you say ? I'll show you mad. I'll show you blood." As the Slytherin tried to stand, he crushed his head on the ground under his feet in a violent move, pressing it down. "Shhuushh...Shusssh, Malfoy. You want to leave me already ? Look, we're having so much fun. You just didn't know your place so I'll show you, I'll show you that scum like you should be on the ground...On the fucking ground and not raising their hands, you understand ? No ? Well, I have no choice then." He pointed his wand at him. "You can not think that I have grown up under the _delightful_ care of Orion and Walburga Black and not have learned an interesting spell or two."

"Sirius !"

James Potter rushed in the common room and immediately posted himself on Sirius'side. He gripped his shoulders, trying to make him meet his eyes. "Pads, Paddy, look at me, listen to me, you have to stop, the professors have been notified and they will be here in a minute, you have to stop, mate !"

Sirius turned almost unseeing eyes toward James and said in a very slow and calm way. "He hit Cissa, Jamie. He has been beating her up."

Hermione hurriedly passed through the door as quickly as she could before it could close itself. She didn't have the time to breath more steadily, the scene before her eyes cutting the air from her lungs in a very efficient way. Her eyes grew even bigger as she saw James Potter slowly let go of Sirius shoulder and pulling his wand out, pointing it to on the form of Lucius Malfoy.

Seeing his best friend joining him Sirius started laugh, his hand shaking around his wand.

This was a nightmare. Stop...

 _Sirius, just, can't stop...you know ?_

She passed her hands in her tangled hair, her chest burning with worry. They were going to kill him. They were ready to kill him. It was finished. They would go to Azkaban she had to do something.

 _Yes, you have to. How dreadfull would it be if something happened to him so quickly ?_

Someone...Someone who could stop him.

 _Is that what you want ?_

Anyone !

 _As you desire..._

"Mr Black, Mr Potter, step away from Mr Malfoy at once !"

Minerva McGonagall and Horace Slughorn entered the Slytherin's common room in a hurried pace. The Gryffindor headmistress used a binding spell to restrain Sirius and James, following closely behind her were two young Slytherin witches.

Hermione closed her eyes.

§§§

Even with the years of trouble that she had left behind her, Hermione had never seen the Dumbledor's office two times in only three days.

Minerva and Dumbledor looked at the students in front of them with an amount of concern that threaded dangerously with dread, and Horace Slugorn's face was completely closed of as he looked at Narcissa Black, who sat in a way that could come accross as far to calm if it was not for the shaking of her hands.

Sirius had been taken away by other professors, not being calm enough to be in the same room as Malfoy, and Hermione had come in his place, to represent him and bring him back the verdict. The morning had passed before her eyes like a blurr, and she had never been more lost. What could she do ? What was left to do ?

The silence in the room was deafening.

And finally Narcissa spoke, Hermione was impressed by her dignified expression as the words calmly left her mouth. "As you can see professors, the relationship between me and Mr Malfoy has not been...running smoothly."

The sad gaze of professor Dumbledor passed on her beaten face as he said in a monotonous tone "We can see, Miss Black. Why have you not come and see us before the affair escalated like this ?"

An unamused and cold smile adorned the wounded lips of the blond witch. "You know of magical bindings and bethrotals, sir, so I imagine that I do not have to explain myself more. If you have just an ounce of pity for me, I demand you as the only thing I have ever asked you and that I will ever ask...Please, do not let any charges be pressed against Sirius."

A snort of derision made itself heard and a smirk appeared on the wounded face of Lucius Malfoy. "I do not think you are begging to the right person, Narcissa. You can be sure that the Malfoy family will press charges against your bloody mad cousin."

"Oh yeah ?!" James had rose from his chair "Bring it on, bastard. The Potters will fucking find you in court you fucking bastard- !"

"Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy, it is enough !" Minerva had never looked so pale before. "It is enough..."she said, her voice breaking toward the end. "I am afraid, Mr Potter that not much can be done. Even if the matter is taken to court, the bethrotal will not be broken unless..." she didn't finished and shook her head.

Hermione felt her fists tighten in front of the victorious smile dancing on Lucius battered face. Was this how things worked in pureblood circles ? No...No ! How could they do nothing ?

 _Yes, and what can we do..._

No, she couldn't continue on this road. She couldn't just wish for any injustice to find its righteous outcome. She couldn't just go one like this. The creature would become far too strong at this rate and she still didn't know what it meant.

 _So you will do nothing...Even if you have the power to save her, you will do nothing. How cold..._

The manipulative thing.

 _This poor girl is already 17...at the end of this year she will leave Hogwarts and live with her tormentor...Forever._

No...

 _Yes ! Yes, she will ! And It will be..._

No.

 _Your. Fault._

No !

Hermione took her head between her hands. No one paid attention to her distress, the situation was sad enough to call for that kind of reactions. She looked at the face of Narcissa and she felt her heart stop.

She had never been close to this woman and had often internally lamented toward the fact that her extraordinarly beautiful face could only seem to wear an indifferent, disgusted or pinched expression. But now that she thought about it. What if it was because there never was a happy thing in her life ?

Narcissa took a shaky breath and rose, ignoring the teacher before getting down on her knees before Lucius Malfoy. It seemed like no one in the room had anticipated this, and Hermione felt something akin to horror as she looked at the beautiful and terrified face of the young girl.

"Please...Please not Sirius...Not my Sirius...He is the only one who..."

She didn't finish her sentence but the words rang clear in the room. The only one who cared. Her own father had given her away, she had no one and nowhere but the infirmary. As Hermione looked at her, she felt her heart ache : never had she seen a woman looking more lonely than her.

She closed her eyes and searched for the presence in the back of her mind.

Do what you have to do.

 _Very well...Then what does he truly want ? _

Something seemed to shift in the air and suddenly James Potter rose from his chair. He pulled his hands on Narcissa's shoulders and made her stand. The blond looked at him surprise and the Gryffindor said in a clear voice.

"It doesn't have to be that way. I know the rules and, as James Charlus Potter I ask of you Narcissa Druella Black to forfeit your previous bethrotal and accept my demand : I ask you to be the future Madam Potter."

Hermione opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. Meanwhile she could hear the amused giggles of the creature in her mind.

§§§

This didn't make sense.

The creature could not have done this.

She had come for Harry. It knew she had come for Harry ! It couldn't suppress Harry !

 _Who talked about suppressing ? Harry will come to the world, he will come in a loving family, healthy, handsome and protected not starving and deprived of everything. Just like you wanted._

Images of Narcissa fussing on the unmanageable hair of splitting version of James Potter appeared before her eyes. An Harry who was exactly the same, just like James, but with eyes of a greyish blue color, a newfound confidence, impeccable manners, and dressed to the lastest fashion.

The flow of images of an hypothetical future came to a stop as a delicate hand found her shoulder. She turned to face Narcissa Black, seeming a lot more calm than before and with an expression that she had never seen, and that made her almost blindingly beautiful. She looked excited, and happy, as if trying in vain to contain herself.

"Yes ?" asked Hermione in an hesitant voice.

"We did not have the occasion to formaly introduce ourselves. I am Narcissa Druella Black, daughter of Druella and Cygnus Black."

"Oh, right, I am Hermione-"

"I know." Narcissa seemed to search for words before she said. "I heard you were close to Sirius's friends as well. I was thinking...hoping, that we could entertain cordial relationships as it seems we will see each other quite often."

Was she...afraid of being rejected ? Afraid Hermione would try to break her new engagement ? Well it is true that the thought had crossed her mind but only because...

"I didn't know you knew James before today."

"All purebloods know each other. Sirius and James have met just before Hogwarts and I have met him at the same time. James...was in love with me when he was a child."

"What ?" said Hermione, unable to stop herself.

Narcissa smiled "We played often, and he always wanted me to be the princess and him to be the prince. Sirius was so annoyed, and did everything possible to get his attention back to real boys games."

"But then what...What happened ? Why ?"

"My father...can be very persuasive. And very vindicative. The games in the garden and the...This was but a dream. I never would have thought that..." she seemed to fight a smile "Until now, I have grown not to have that kind of man in my life."

"Gryffindors ?" guessed Hermione.

"Good men."

Again the young witch felt a pang of compassion in her heart, almost as if it had pierced it. She looked at Narcissa with new eyes and everything was much more clear in her mind. Of course. The hero complex. She knew this one far too well, had seen it in Harry so many times. She knew that this hero complex came from the deep desire to be loved, to be needed.

Narcissa Black made the perfect princess. Even with her bruises, it was not hard to know that she was above. She was just perfect. And now she was also the perfect damsel in distress. That she was James Potter's first love enlightened a lot of obscure zone. Why James had only started to notice and pursue Lily Evans in sixth year, when Narcissa was bethroted, and why Lily was just the perfect opposite of everything Narcissa was. Red-headed, muggleborn, and the opposite of a well-mannered aristocrat princess.

Lily was what James needed. And more precisely what he needed to forget about what he had truly wanted, what he still wanted...Narcissa Black.

When she had unleashed the creature in Dumbledor's office it was not her wish that it had granted.

 _Very well...Then what does he truly want ? _

"Well, now that my intentions are told. I still need to know something." Narcissa straightened herself. "You have seen me in a very embarassing situation but do not be mistaken, I am not defenseless. And what I have now, I will do everything to protect it." she paused for a while before asking, her blue eyes meeting Hermione's brown ones, "I do not care if you like Sirius. A lot of girls do. Or more like, they seem to believe they do. What you have seen today is also Sirius. When he is angry he..." Narcissa stopped herself again before taking the hands of Hermione. "You love him, right ? You...have to love him, you have to love him enough to die for him." She had a small smile before adding. "Knowing him...He won't let you love him any less."

 _To be continued..._

 _So... I am back :,) I just felt like writing and thank you all for your lovely reviews, but also all the follow and likes ! Just to calm some of you, I hate tragedies so yes It will be an happy ending !_


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